Church Humor



	*A merry heart does good, like* medicine. . . – Proverbs 17:22(NKJV)**
Click the button to Email us	Tournament Weather Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds that were gathering. "Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust you'll see to it that the weather won't turn bad on us." Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm sales, not management!" The Preacher's Donkey A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go was to say, "Hallelujah!" The only way to make the donkey stop was to say, "Amen!" The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions. "Hallelujah!" shouted the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately. "This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah" he rode off, very proud of his new purchase. The man traveled for a long time through the mountains. As he headed towards a cliff, he tried to remember the word to make the donkey stop. "Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going. "OH, NO . . ." "Bible...Church!...Please! Stop!!" shouted the man. The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff. Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer: "Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain. In Jesus' name, AMEN." The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff. "HALLELUJAH!" shouted the man. Church Bulletin Bloopers These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins: * The youth group is saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. * Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 pm. Please use the back door. * Mrs. Jones is having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastork's sermons. * The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment. * For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. * During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. * Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. * Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow. * Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help. * 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. * The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. * Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm. Please use large double door at the side entrance. Teasing A ten year old boy and his thirteen year old sister , were always teasing each other. One day, the boy getting "sensitive" about things his sister was saying to him. I reminded him that he had said the same types of things many times in days past. With quiet reflection, he spoke a gospel truth: "But it doesn't hurt as much coming out of my mouth as it does going into my ears." Northwoods Chapel · W8046 Aspen Lane · Pembine, Wi 54156· (715) 324-5515 "Come Grow With Us"


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